Why Does Parenting Differently Feel So Hard (Even When I Try My Best)?

This gentle quiz will reveal what your nervous system is trying to tell you, and why parenting differently can feel so hard.

Together, we’ll uncover what stage you’re in on the journey towards safety and confidence.

Before setting a limit or demand, do you feel calm and connected… or does your body tense or brace for things to spiral?

Question 1 - What best describes you: *

I often find myself bracing or panicking anticipating the meltdown this will lead to

I sometimes brace, but it is getting easier

I feel comfortable setting limits, I know what my child can tolerate

When your child resists or needs extra support, do you feel safe easing off and lowering demands…

Question 2 - What best describes you: *

I often find myself trying push through

This happens sometimes, but I am becoming more comfortable at letting go

I feel comfortable lowering demands

Can you parent differently from what you were taught without guilt, shame, or fear of judgment from others?

Question 3 - What best describes you: *

I really struggle with this

I am slowly learning to feel more comfortable with parenting differently

I feel confident in my parenting decisions

When you imagine lowering demands, does it feel like freedom and possibility... or do you feel like you’re failing or losing control?

Question 4 - What best describes you: *

Just the idea of lowering demands feels overwhelming to me

Lowering demands is starting to feel less scary to me

Lowering demands has been a freeing experience for me and my child, I wouldn't parent any other way

How comfortable are you with slowing down daily routines (meals, school prep, bedtime) to match your child’s capacity, even if it looks different from other families?

Question 5 - What best describes you: *

I panic and worry about what others will think

This still throws me, but I am starting to feel more comfortable matching my child's capacity

I take this in my stride - my priority is meeting my child's needs not meeting others expectations of me

When you receive judgment or advice from others about your parenting, can you hold steady in what feels right for you and your child?

Question 6 - What best describes you: *

I know that it shouldn't bother me, but I struggle with what others may think

It is still a struggle at times but this is getting easier

I hold steady, I trust that I know my child and what is best for them. Others opinions don't bother me

When you think about lowering demands, do you imagine relief and connection…

Or fear that everything will fall apart without structure?

Question 7 - What best describes you: *

The idea of giving up the control that structure gives me fills me with anxiety

I am starting to let go and I am beginning to see some positive results

Honestly, lowering demands has changed our lives for the better

Can you give yourself permission to rest and step back from constant “doing” without guilt?

Question 8 - What best describes you: *

Rest is really hard for me, I struggle when I don't feel like I'm "doing something"

It is a work in progress, but this is getting easier

It is so freeing not to feel the constant pressure of always being busy or having to react in a certain way

When your child is in burnout, do you feel pressure to get them “back on track quickly,” or can you trust the slower pace of recovery?

Question 9 - What best describes you: *

I definitely feel the pressure to get things back on track

It is getting easier to trust our journey

I am comfortable trusting the process

When things are hard, can you trust that lowering demands is still working in the bigger picture…

Question 10 - What best describes you: *

I panic and overcompensate

It is getting easier to trust the bigger picture

I trust the process. I know that change is happening even if I can't see it yet

Nearly finished...

A gentle reminder before I share your results with you:

If parenting differently feels harder than you thought it would, you’re not failing—you’re human.

Your nervous system has to feel safe before lasting change can take root.

In the results, I will help you discover where you are on the path, Tender Roots, Growing Branches, or Expanding Canopy, and give you your next gentle step toward parenting with more confidence and ease.

Share your details below and I’ll send your personalised results straight to your inbox—along with helpful nervous system support tips and a free gift.

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